Of Watches, and Wisdom

A piece of sound advice for people (especially precocious youths) who find themselves a cut above the mean:

Wear your learning, like your watch, in a private pocket, and do not pull it out and strike it merely to show you have one. If you are asked what o'clock it is, tell it, but do not proclaim it hourly and unasked, like the watchman.

~ Philip Dormer Stanhope, 4th Earl of Chesterfield

Most intelligent people will have found themselves in a position, at some point in their lives, where their mental capacities were detrimental to their social integration. The classic example is that of the bespectacled, socially awkward nerd being bullied by football players and their cheerleader girlfriends in high school. Or the equally awkward nerd girl (yes, the assumed default "nerd" is male, but that's just statistics) scorned by her skirt-and-heels-wearing peers for her braces and sweatpants and love of explosions. Anyhow, the above is practical advice on how to survive not only high school, but also the world at large.

This reminds me of a recent conversation with a good friend, regarding deference to etiquette and social context versus suppression of one's identity. Many nerds, I have found, deal with the above sorts of isolation and awkwardness by rejecting the institutions that have ill-used them. The argument goes, "It's who I am," and "I shouldn't have to give up my identity in order to have/be/join x." While in some cases, this is a valid argument (namely in cases where there is no viable alternative), it is too often used as an excuse, or a social crutch. One's identity should not preclude one from exhibiting, for instance, basic professionalism and consideration for others (that is, unless one wishes to be identified as "clueless", or some other unsavory sobriquet in perpetuam). One may be genuinely enthusiastic about one's learning (as is generally the case in particularly nerdy people), but it often comes off to those less interested as a sort of unbecoming vanity.

I recognize that I have this problem myself, and I cannot always be conscious of how I appear to others. I do, however, believe that simple courtesies should not be neglected, which includes not boring my friends to tears, where possible (that's what this blog is for, I suppose). One of my biggest problems, though, is that my notions of etiquette date from a bygone era -- so you folks have it easier, in some ways. You have less to unlearn.

And for those literal-minded readers who are thinking, "Why not wear the watch on your wrist, like a sensible person?" I would point out that Lord Chesterfield was of an age when pocketwatches, rather than wristwatches, were the norm.