Chinglish and Other Amusements from China

I realized that I never posted the various amusing and interesting pictures I took in China. (Many of them are of Chinglish bloopers.) Here are some of the funnier ones:

This was taken in a mall in Hong Kong; I believe it was advertising an arcade or some such.

The circular, UFO-like thing on the ground is an information booth. I suppose that's one way to attract attention!

We found these in the shower of our hotel room. False excrement indeed (I should certainly hope so, given its intended use.)

I had opened the drawer expecting a sewing kit, or perhaps a clothes-line. This... isn't quite string.

I did not anticipate finding French fries or hash browns (especially smiley ones) in China, especially in the same box as chow mien and string beans. It reminds me of the cover of Watchmen, with the strategically-placed ketchup and all.

Liquid yogurt is a rather common drink in China; "living fungus milk," however, is distinctly unappetizing.

And this. I couldn't resist putting this up. It's my mother's big carry-on bag. Apparently it was a gift. (The arm in the picture is my father's.)

Unintentional Humor at the Chinese Supermarket, Part III

It's been a while since I posted some of these, and I've accumulated quite a few new photographs, so here's some supermarket Chinglish (and other strange Asian things) for your amusement:

Umm... sounds gross. Like mud pies -- something little kids threw together that their parents would pretend to eat while tossing the thing in the trash.

Crab lumps? And "special" meat. Sounds like public school cafeteria "mystery meat." That, or meat injected with hallucinogens. Maybe that's why it's $9.99.

Is the bow supposed to somehow make the fan more appealing to shoppers?

Amusing on a number of levels. Persian pickles grown in Mexico. Also, Persian pickles are actually a term for the teardrop shapes one finds in paisley patterns.

And that is one huge apple. It's half the size of my sister's head! (Brett, this one's for you!)

Unintentional Humor at the Chinese Supermarket, Part II

One of the first things my family did, upon arrival in Los Angeles, was go to a Chinese supermarket and buy a week's worth of food. My sister and I wandered off after a while, and this is what we found:

This was in the cosmetics aisle. It says, if you can't quite make out the blurry lettering, "Smash Fixer". Well, if your face just got smashed, I'm not sure a pot of powder or whatever would do you much good.

This isn't so much Chinglish as just a "huh?" moment. It's like saying to someone, "Don't throw kiwis at stop signs", when the addressee is neither outdoors nor in possession of kiwis. Or something.

I am told by my sister, who is learning Spanish, that "bonita" means "pretty". The sign was on a display of rather unexceptional dead fish.

Only Asians would package dried mushrooms in flower-festooned cardboard boxes.

These are durians. They smell really bad, but actually taste pretty good. They also look like abnormally large hedgehogs. We were amused.

I'm not sure if crackers that are "cheerful" seem any more appetizing than crackers that are glum, or annoyed, or indifferent. Maybe they meant... cheer-inducing crackers? Errr...

Asian supermarkets seem to favor consistently poor choices of adjectives. "Silky" is no more palatable than "cheerful" -- perhaps less so.

Umm...  "idiot" steak?

Well. It appeared to be body wash (or at least, it was in the section labeled as such).

Panda milk seems a little too exotic, not to mention, illegal.

And this is a watering can. Cute, if disturbingly so.

Unintentional Humor at the Chinese Supermarket

A number of photographs I've taken of humorous Chinglish at Chinese supermarkets:

When I think "picnic", I'm expecting something along the lines of ham and cheese, not giant slabs of pork...

It sounds like a squid-skinning competition. Do squids even have skins?

Umm... they're heads, but not sheep heads. I Wikipedia'ed it, thinking perhaps "sheep head" might be the colloquial name for a type of fish, but it turns out it's a Wisconsin card game. Right.

Perhaps the oddest one of all... I can't tell if they're Canadian (are American snails any different from Canadian ones?), but they certainly aren't lobsters!

The Two Towers, with Engrish Subtitles

The Lord of the Rings films were international bestsellers ("Bestseller"is the book term; I'm not sure what the film equivalent might be.), with all the perils that international, multilingual showing brings. Here are a series of screenshots of a Chinese-dubbed version, which somebody attempted to subtitle in English. It's a hoot.

http://www.angelfire.com/rings/ttt-subtitles/index.html

NYTimes: A Sampling of Chinglish

http://www.nytimes.com/slideshow/2010/05/03/world/asia/20100503_CHINGLISH.html?src=me&ref=homepage

Chinglish made the Times! And one of my best friends (Brett) is credited as a contributor. :)