What Would You Do with a Time Machine?

I've been asked the above question quite a few times (I think it happens to history majors fairly frequently), and my answer tends to vary depending on the classes I happen(ed) to be taking, the books in my bag, the day of the week, &c. By now, I do have a list of responses that I cycle through and explain in depth at parties (which, for me, are of the variety that includes social dancing, board games, home cooking, or karaoke).

This is an answer I've given before, because I think it's one of the great tragedies of the classical world:

I imagine the "Dark Ages" would have turned out quite differently had the libraries of Egypt, Rome, and all the other great ancient cities not burned. So much knowledge -- especially in the sciences -- was lost, setting human progress in the West back several centuries. If I had a time machine... I would definitely go back to save the second volume of Aristotle's Poetics, and Aristarchus's text on astronomy, and Ovid's Medea, and Euripides's lost plays...

In short, I would be both the best and worst Doctor's Companion ever.

English Major Armadillo, or, Memes I Wish Would Catch On

I started reading this tumblr recently...

http://fyeahenglishmajorarmadillo.tumblr.com

I am so very amused. Now, should the question arise, I can tell non-bibliophiles that I am an armadillo (not this kind of armadillo, mind you). If not a separate species, certainly we're a tribe unto ourselves, at least on the internet(s). Exhibit A: Geoffrey Chaucer Hath a Blog.

Someone please make one for history majors. How about History Major Kangaroo? Or History Major Hippopotamus (which has a nice alliterative ring to it)? (If there already is one, please do send it my way! One can never have too many nerdy web-humor sites bookmarked.)

Edit: There is one! It's called History Major Heraldic Beast, which is much cleverer than either kangaroo or hippopotamus.