Blog Hiatus

My family and I are going to Italy for about ten days, leaving tomorrow, so the Miscellany is temporarily going dark. We'll be back towards the end of next week. The itinerary includes Rome and Florence, with a tentative day-trip to Siena. I'll post pictures and/or a travelogue when we return.

The earlier, very brief dearth of posts (last weekend) was due to my friend Lucas visiting New York, and because I got a new computer, which needed setting up and so forth. Here we are:


(That's me, Lucas, and Mycroft. (See, Brett, here's a picture of me!))

He's 13" (if it isn't evident from the picture), and he's named for Mycroft Holmes, of Whitehall and the Diogenes Club, the lesser-known but more important of the Holmes brothers. Sherlock Holmes was (and still is) one of my favorite action heroes from my childhood (yes, he's a mostly cerebral detective, but he's also well-versed in boxing, fencing, single-stick, and "Baritsu" (see "The Final Problem"), all of which qualify him as an action hero). I thought Mycroft's personality and function were more suited to that of a computer.

Anyhow, see you all in about two weeks!

Today

is the 168th anniversary of the Treaty of Nanking, which concluded the First Opium War, famously ceded the territory of Hong Kong to Britain.

Of course, Hong Kong was repatriated many years ago. I vaguely remember the big hoopla in 1997, when we all watched the ceremony on the television, and there was a lot of noise and celebration and dancing in choreographed patterns (it seems that every major Asian celebration includes dancing in choreographed patterns).

Looking for McGonagall, Perhaps?

The average LOLcat is pretty inane, but occasionally, they come up with really clever ones. I thought this one was quite good:


The surprised expression on the cat's face is just perfect. And it's a black cat! You know what they say about black cats!

BBC: Churchill's Butterfly Garden, 70 Years in the Making

This is a must-see, if you're ever in Britain (Kent, specifically):

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-11025174

From the picture accompanying this article, the estate looks beautiful. Butterfly conservation is increasingly important in industrialized nations, and such a conservatory (with such an illustrious patron) can only aid efforts therein.

It's interesting how famous (and infamous) leaders often had such incongruous hobbies; aside from Churchill, the Emperor Hirohito would have preferred to be a marine biologist rather than an emperor (and was especially saddened by his ejection from the Royal Society), Nero famously played the harp (fiddles weren't invented yet), Henry VIII was a composer of some talent, and Marcus Aurelius is better remembered for his philosophical writings than for his statecraft.

Obama plays basketball, I hear.

NYTimes: Islam and the Two Americas

A very interesting Opinions piece on the precarious position of Islam in America:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/16/opinion/16douthat.html

It makes a very good point. America is a land of immigrants, but only to a point. We are an Anglo-normative nation, a Judeo-Christian society that prints "In God we trust" on our currency and proclaims "one nation, under God" in our pledge. Whosoever believes in a different god, or even (in this case) the same God by a different name in a different book, sometimes isn't quite American enough.

We profess to be a nation of religious freedom and cultural acceptance. We profess to have left behind our very embarrassing history of discrimination. We profess to welcome those of all colors and creeds. But in reality, with the World Trade Center mosque controversy and other instances of skittish xenophobia on the part of the white Judeo-Christian majority, we have a long ways to go towards those ideals.

At the same time, those same immigrants, being now a part of America, must also contribute to the growth process. The parties facing the steepest opposition must needs contribute the most. It is not fair, but it is necessary. It reminds me of the differences between the strategies of Martin Luther King Jr. and Malcolm X; while there is no denying that blacks should have had the same rights and freedoms as other Americans, the relevant legislation was achieved through nonviolent, costly, and arduous means. African-Americans should not have needed to do that -- they ought to have enjoyed the same rights as anyone else -- but it was necessary. Malcolm X, for all his agitation and righteous indignation, which were justified, did not achieve nearly the results that King did.

I guess it all boils down to a bit of common sense: while it is certainly within one's rights to say needlessly provocative things (to a point; see "Shouting 'Fire!' in a Crowded Theater"), it's often not beneficial to one's cause to say them (and this is a reality, no matter how one assigns the blame). What would you rather do, freely exercise your rights, or advance your cause by watching your mouth a little more carefully? The former is a Constitutionally protected right, but, in light of an unfortunate reality, it's also very selfish.

The Uncommon Reader (by Alan Bennett)

I recently read, and feel obliged to recommend, this novella:

http://www.indiebound.org/book/9780312427641

It's a really whimsical little work about the Queen of England, who develops bibliophilic tendencies late in life, and the havoc her reading habits wreak upon the government of Great Britain. (As a fellow literature enthusiast, I can definitely relate!) It reads like a faerie story for grown-ups. It was cute, but not sickeningly so, and literary (for certain definitions thereof) without being inaccessible. It's meta, self-consciously so (a book about reading!), but in a quirky, endearing way. It's a very quick read -- perfect for a subway ride.

Vienna Teng

I went to a Vienna Teng concert at the Highline Ballroom with my sister last night. It was my sister's first modern music concert (my second, my first being a Vienna performance in San Francisco).

I've been a fan of hers since Lewis introduced me to her music last quarter. Her story is very interesting and very inspiring; she's a fellow (ethnic) Chinese-American and a fellow (former) Stanford student. She majored in computer science while she attended, and worked at Cisco for two years before achieving some success as an independent musician, whereupon she quit her job (much to her family's consternation, one might imagine).

Her website: http://viennateng.com

This was her last tour, at least for now. She's going to graduate school at Michigan soon (but has reassured us that she'll continue making music, if not performing, while in school).

The Most Efficient Way to Mow a Lawn (article)

A whimsical, fun article on how to mow one's lawn in the most geometrically efficient way possible:

http://realestate.msn.com/listarticle.aspx?cp-documentid=25152485>1=35000

As was mentioned, we don't take particular care of our lawn (especially in the back), but my parents engage the local troupe of mowing-people (if there is a technical term for such, I don't know it) once a year in the spring. I wish they wouldn't; the mowing-people are rather careless with flowers, and have chopped the blooms off our daffodils every year since I've been in high school. I wouldn't mind if the yard were overgrown with weeds and wildflowers and sprawling hedges taller than I am -- I would rather enjoy the Secret Garden-esque feel of it, methinks. It's a pity my mother likes things neat, and that both my parents are afflicted with varying degrees of hayfever.

NYTimes: Purple Martins, a Hobby

Taking birdhouses to an extreme:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/12/garden/12purple.html?hpw

It sounds like a wonderful way to enjoy nature and contribute to conservation. Not to mention that purple martins are quite pretty.

Prayer is Serious Business

A lamp at a Buddhist monastery, complete with poker face:

From Happy Chair.

NYTimes: Summer Share-House Squares

The classic American summer vacation, the board game:

http://www.nytimes.com/interactive/2010/08/13/opinion/20100813_opart_schottboardgame.html

We're not really the white picket fence type of family (you should see the brown patches in the backyard), but there's so much literature about that sort of lifestyle (very Mark Twain) that most Americans should find this at least somewhat amusing and somewhat apt.

I, Too, Sing America (by Langston Hughes)

Langston Hughes, as many of you probably already know, was one of the greatest poets of the Harlem Renaissance. This poem was one of the anthems of the day in the struggle for racial equality in America.

I, Too, Sing America
by Langston Hughes (1925)

I, too, sing America.

I am the darker brother.
They send me to eat in the kitchen
When company comes,
But I laugh,
And eat well,
And grow strong.

Tomorrow,
I'll be at the table
When company comes.
Nobody'll dare
Say to me,
"Eat in the kitchen,"
Then.

Besides,
They'll see how beautiful I am
And be ashamed--

I, too, am America.

Very simple, very direct, and very powerful. It predates the Civil Rights Movement by some thirty-odd years, and yet the message is distinctly the same. It's still relevant today; discrimination still exists, if more insidiously than it did before. It's a matter of latent bias and accumulated socioeconomic circumstance, rather than one of law. It's a matter of apathy, rather than hatred.

Stop eating in the kitchen. You -- we, too, are America.

The New Adventures of Queen Victoria: Alternate Uses for Lemonade

A different -- Victorian -- take on alternative fuels:

http://www.gocomics.com/thenewadventuresofqueenvictoria/2010/07/27

Better than corn, eh?

Today

is the 130th anniversary of the completion of the Cologne Cathedral, a UNESCO World Heritage site and one of the most famous monuments in Germany. It took 632 years to finish (with interruptions, of course).

It holds the distinction of having the largest facade of any cathedral in the world, as well as the second-tallest cathedral spires. The gothic vaulted nave, I've been told, is breathtaking.

I know a few of you are studying abroad in Germany; this is a must-see historical site. Take pictures (please?)!

Faux-Starfleet Pods at the Mall

I was at the mall again last weekend (I think I've filled my mall quota for the year; I've been thrice this summer already) because my family decided to celebrate the occasion of my twentieth birthday by taking me to get my ears pierced (upon which I discovered that my ears are asymmetrical, but that's a whole different story). Anyhow, as my sister and I were exiting the store, we happened upon this:


I thought it looked uncannily similar to the pod in which Spock maroons Kirk on the ice planet in the recent Star Trek film; I half expected someone in a Starfleet uniform to pop out of it. Turns out, it's an artificial tanning device. Weird.

NYTimes: Being Short isn't as Bad as You Think It Is

I was very small for most of my minority; those of you who knew me before college undoubtedly remember this. I was consistently both the shortest and skinniest kid in my class throughout middle school. I used to be able to comfortably fit into all sorts of tight spaces, including half-sized lockers, suitcases, dresser drawers, laundry hampers, &c. Needless to say, I was very good at hide and seek.

My parents, however, were understandably concerned, both about my outward appearance and about any psychological conditions that might have arisen, perhaps from poor self-esteem or ridicule by my peers. (I was admittedly a very odd child regardless, so I wasn't particularly affected by my classmates' opinions of me.)

Anyhow, this article ought to alleviate most of their concerns. Not to mention that I'm a very normal 5'4" (and a bit more on good days) nowadays, so this is all in the past. Mostly. I have way too many friends who are 5'10" and up (though they're mostly boys, so perhaps it's not as relevant).

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/05/11/health/11brod.html?src=me&ref=health

Some of the most interesting and influential people in history have been very short. Here are two partial lists of famous short people; they include some of the world's most awesome people, such as Beethoven, Napoleon, Faulkner, F. Scott Fitzgerald, Keats, Tolkien, Genghis Khan, Gandhi, Voltaire, Picasso, and James Madison. What a list!

http://www.tallmenshoes.com/heoffashpe.html

http://www.buzzle.com/articles/famous-short-people.html

Today

is the feast day of St. Lawrence of Rome. He is one of my favorite saints (it's probably rather odd to have a favorite saint, but there you go), and like most saints, is best known for his rather grisly martyrdom, but he has probably the most interesting last words of any saint I know of. The story goes, he was sentenced to death by grilling, and as he was dying, he remarked to his tormentors, "Turn me over; I'm done on this side." Talk about gallows humor!

Al Jazeera: Amnesty Report Slams Global Abuses

The usual culprits, of course: China, Russia, and the US. It's always those who aren't terribly concerned about repercussions in the international arena -- the US is no exception:

http://english.aljazeera.net/news/europe/2010/05/2010527164537464311.html

It's so hard to be an optimist, sometimes.

The Guild, Bollywood-Style

I previously mentioned the web series The Guild in this post. The cast recently produced another hilarious music video (I think they have a different theme song every few seasons). I present The Guild, Bollywood-style:



If you've ever seen a Bollywood film, you probably recognize some of the extremely well-worn tropes.

NYTimes: How to Find Cheaper College Textbooks

Most of this is common sense (and accumulated knowledge), but it is rather timely for incoming freshmen, many of whom are going to college in the coming weeks:

http://bucks.blogs.nytimes.com/2010/08/03/how-to-find-cheaper-college-textbooks/?src=me&ref=homepage

At Stanford, we have the ASSU Book Exchange (you'll need to log in with your SUID), which makes things a whole lot easier.

Literary Drinking Games (yes, you read that correctly)

I don't drink myself, but if you substitute caffeine for alcohol in these frivolities, I'm sure the results would be similarly amusing:

http://jezebel.com/5603364/drink-til-hes-witty-the-readers-drinking-game

The Virginia Woolf one was especially clever, methinks.

BBC: Spider Size is a Question of Gravity

A (surprisingly) new and beautifully logical theory on why male spiders are so much smaller than female spiders:

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/science-environment-10845694

Sometimes, the simplest solutions really are the best ones.

MSNBC: Anne Rice No Longer Christian

For those of you unfamiliar with her, Anne Rice is a very well-regarded gothic novelist, one of the old-guard (pre-Twilight) vampire writers. Her Lestat drinks human blood, burns up in sunlight (for the majority of the series, anyways), and certainly doesn't sparkle.

Anyhow, she's personally had a diverse and contentious history with Christianity. She was raised in a Catholic family, renounced religion at eighteen, and returned to Catholicism in her fifties. She recently announced, however, that she is no longer Christian:

http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/38474711/ns/today-books/?gt1=43001

One of the most interesting points: Rice states that while she remains faithful to God, she has renounced the Church (and indeed, the label of "Christian") -- rather like a modern day Luther, actually. In his day, the grievances of the good Christian against the Catholic Church were primarily its sale of indulgences and its general corruption. The Church's problems in the modern day are more insidious; they consist of ideology-based discrimination, obstruction of human rights protections, and systemic degeneracy. Martin Luther was Christian but not Catholic in a world where Catholicism basically was Christianity; Anne Rice is following illustrious footsteps, indeed.

As Gandhi once said, so says Anne Rice: "I like your Christ. I do not like your Christians. Your Christians are so unlike your Christ." A vast generalization, to be sure (I know some very wonderful Christians, myself), but nonetheless, amen to that!

Having an O'Keefe Moment...

I have wonderful friends (Amy and Cindy) who decided that the perfect joint (with Weily) early birthday celebration would be a picnic in Central Park, and the perfect gifts would include adorable cards and this stunning rose:


It is even more beautiful in real life; the orange-ish bits are actually a jewel-shade of magenta.

You guys are the best! Thank you!

BBC: The Case for Genetically Modified Food

This is a very interesting, very well-written take on the GM food debate:

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/science/nature/8789279.stm

It is indisputable that there exists a global food problem. There are many ways towards solving it, many of which can be implemented alongside others. Genetically modified produce is one such solution. While it has its problems, it is, as the article suggests, one of the best solutions available. There is no magical cure-all -- GM foods may be the best we can do with the technology we have.

To the people who are concerned about personal health: it's not perfect. It's far from perfect. That's what the FDA is for. If you're going to let doctors play with things like human stem cell regeneration, which is an accepted scientific practice nowadays, have a little faith in GM foods, too. It's progress. The risk factor is the price we've paid for technology and advancement of civilization ever since we first became Homo sapiens.

I'd eat some GM foods. Not all of them -- I'm not stupid (I don't think) -- but certainly the more widely available and well-regulated ones.

SlushPile Hell, the Blog

You may have seen me refer to the slush pile once or twice in this blog; I don't believe I ever actually defined the term. It's basically the influx of unsolicited submissions -- manuscripts none of our editors have expressed an interest in seeing, but which are simply sent to our submissions inbox (which is an e-mail account, rather than a mailing address, these days). A submission consists, usually, of a cover letter (itself consisting of a very brief introduction to the novel being queried, noteworthy accomplishments in the field (such as short story publications, creative writing prizes, &c.), and experience (such as academic degrees or professional expertise) relevant to the novel) and the first ten pages of the manuscript. (Submissions criteria at other publishers may differ very slightly.)

Anyhow, one of the editors at my office showed me a blog that gathers excerpts from some of the craziest and most clueless query letters received (all anonymous, of course). It's a hoot (and for writers seeking publication, a good resource on what not to do):

http://slushpilehell.tumblr.com

I get stuff like this all the time. Of course, this is a sample of the very worst -- quite a few are actually very competent, and I am sorry to have to turn down as many as I do. It's a pretty narrow gate, so the submission has to be really wonderful for us to want to publish it.

NYTimes: College Dorms -- Britain's New Hostels

This is a great idea, especially seeing as most of Britain's major universities (and their dormitories) have centuries of history behind them:

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/08/01/travel/01journeys.html?src=me&ref=travel

I would love to stay in an Oxford dorm room for a few nights one summer. They say it looks like Hogwarts -- what's not to love?